Who To Be: Rodent or Rapier?
by PowerOfFail
Summary: Set during Deathly Hallows. A plan to make George less holey goes awry leaving Fred looking somewhat different.


A/N: Okay real quick: **Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter**

Wow! I've had a shite load of plot bunnies attacking me today at school. I've got another story coming, but seeing as tomarrow is EARTH DAY (don't for get to celebrate) I'm not going to be online to type it up and post it. I'm sure you're all so dissapointed about that. Anyway, so this is a fic I came up with during Japanese that was inspired by a plot bunny from Science. Okay, so I was studying for Law in Science when a plot bunny came hopping along, and I wrote it down. Then I drew Fred and George next to it, and then I drew Bunny ears on Fred. Geddit? Plot Bunny about Fred and George? Yeah okay, so then I was redrawing it in Japanese (because Fred with bunny ears looking traumatized is just so hilarious) and I came up with this idea. Perhaps Fred's last name wasn't the real reason his was called Rodent on Potterwatch, maybe there was some issues with some bunnies ears from a plan to give George a new ear gone awry...

What suprises me most about this fic is that I didn't come up with it during Geomatry (eww math) which is when I tend to think up this stuff.Haha nyway, onto the fic!

* * *

A loud explosion wracked the room, shaking the walls on either side. There was black smoke thick in the air, and as it cleared Fred and George Weasley became visible.

"Alright, so, what didn't we add this time?" Fred asked, coughing a bit as he did so.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I think it's more of a case of what we _did_ add." George replied, dusting some soot out of his hair.

"For Merlin's sake, can you two invent any _less _quietly?" Mrs. Weasley asked, as she pushed open the door, inspecting the damage done to the room.

"What's that mum? You want us to make even MORE noise?"

"Fred! Don't you dare even think about it…"

"What? I didn't do anything, George is the one who said it!"

Mrs. Weasley narrowed her eyes, "That won't work any more, it hasn't worked since July."

Fred and George glanced at each other before they remembered: George's ear.

"Well, you see, that's what we're working on. A full-proof way of being mixed up again!" George replied, quickly recovering. That was the truth, of course. They had decided that in a war, two ears were better than one, so they had been trying to fasten George a new ear…That and they wanted their favorite past time back: Confusing and driving insane their mum and everyone else they knew. It was one of the sole reasons they made the jokeshop, well...that and giving people a reason to laugh during war time, and just for the ever-so-enjoyable sake of prankdom.

"Oh. Very well, if you _must_, just don't destroy the house." Mrs. Weasley said, exasperated. She loved her sons, but why they had to be inventors was beyond her, as it was quite stress-inducing.

"Don't worry, we will." Fred and George answered in unison.

Mrs. Weasley just nodded and left, closing the door behind her. As she thought about it, she would rather have both twins being noisy inventors, than having neither at all.

As the door shut, George turned back to his twin, "Alright, we need to change it a bit more. I think it think it was the ground elm roots and mashed unicorn horn that didn't react well together." He decided, his face calculating as he looked over their previous notes.

Fred nodded, he picked up another ingredient he hadn't seen before, "Hey, George. I don't think we've tried this. When did we get it?" Then more to himself than George he mumbled, "Why would anyone use rabbit fur in a potion?"

George's eyes lit up immediately, "Let's try it!"

"Wait, what, why?" Fred demanded.

"Experimental purposes." George replied. He had a feeling he knew what would come out of the potion, and felt it would be a hilarious sight and that fact alone justified it's need to be done.

Fred stood there contemplating for a moment, he knew that look on his brother's face, but going against his better judgment, he agreed to use the fur.

Working quickly they rekindled the fire and added all the ingredients they knew worked so far. Finally, George held his hand containing the rabbit's fur over the boiling potion.

"Ready?" George asked, eyes sparkling.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Fred replied, his earlier thoughts forgotten in his anticipation.

"Alright then." George said with a wicked grin, and let go of the furs. As he did so, unseen by Fred who was watching the cauldron's content's intently, he pulled out his wand and cast a shield charm he hoped would protect him from anything that came spewing out of the cauldron when it exploded, if it did.

Again for the twentieth time that day, the cauldron exploded and thick smoke filled the air again. George waved his hand around a bit, trying to clear the smoke so he could get a look at Fred.

"Right, so the rabbit fur didn't work. I didn't think it would, so I reserve the right to say…" However, Fred didn't finish, for he caught site of his twin's face which was looking half shocked half amused, "What's wrong?" he demanded.

George didn't say anything, but burst out laughing. Fred pushed George out of the way in his haste to get to the mirror. He let out a choked sound when his eyes fell upon his changed reflection.

"What…happened?" He asked sounding horrified as he felt his fluffy new rabbit's ears, "Why have my ears been turned into bunny's ears?!"

George couldn't keep a straight face as he answered, "The potion…must have made your ears grow that way!" He laughed again, "You've got Bunny Ears!"

"Well…I suppose it's better than having _punny_ ears." Fred snapped, who thought that being 'Holey' was a rather bad pun, and at any rate, he still had two ears at least.

George didn't somber after that remark, he only found it more hilarious, "Ah, you've wounded me, brother." He replied dramatically.

"Sod off, Saint Georige." Fred said, turning back to his reflection, drawing his wand and attempting to fix his ears.

Finally, after watching Fred struggle for the good deal of half an hour trying to fix his ears, George decided to help him out. Drawing his wand, George walked over, and smacked Fred on the head with it.

Turning to George angrily, Fred (whose ears were quite unchanged) asked, "What was that for?!"

George looked confused for a moment, "But, that was supposed to be the counter charm to fix it!"

Fred continued to glare at him and George, knowing what was on his mind, said quickly, "You can worry about revenge later, eh? How about we try to straighten out your new looks?"

Fred nodded, "Alright, I agree. Truce for now. I don't really fancy walking around with floppy ears for the rest of my life. Imagine if I tried to duel a Death Eater like this! They just might die from laughing."

And so, for the rest of the night and into the next day, Fred and George worked constantly on a way to change Fred's ears back to normal. However, by the time the sun had risen and set 3 times, they had no solution.

"I can't wait until Lee sees you like this." George said, finally admitting defeat.

"What?" Fred asked he had been quite preoccupied trying to fix his image predicament.

"Potterwatch is supposed to broadcast today, remember, and it's your turn to go." George reminded him.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Say, Holey, want to go in my place?" Fred said casually.

"No, that's alright. I think the world should see your new style. After all, it makes you look better than before."

"Harhar, George. I'm still better looking than you are, always have been, always will be."

George pretended to sneer, "Just for that, there's no way I'm going to go take your place for Potterwatch."

Fred laughed, "That was some sneer, almost worthy of Malfoy. Are you sure you're not related?"

"No, dear brother, I'm not the diabolical one. If either of us are related to the Malfoy's, it is you!" George said, pushing his twin.

Fred smirked and said, "Really, George! You think so low of me! And if you would care to remember, it was _you_ who put the fur in the potion. However, on an entirely different note, with any luck, maybe I'll be able to splinch these off."

George shook his head, "No, that's not a good idea, see, because then you wouldn't have _any_ ears, and wouldn't be able to hear any of my wonderful puns about it!"

"Well, in that case, I shall try." And with that, Fred apparated to the set place for the Potterwatch broadcast.

* * *

"No, you're name is Rodent!" Lee said definatly while trying to refrain from laughing, "You see those ears you have? They're rabbit's ears, Fred, that means you're now a rodent. Well...that combined with your name..."

"No. Lee. Really. George has taken the mickey out of me enough already, I'm Rapier, and I'm not arguing about it!" Fred replied. He could see Kingsley Shacklebolt and Remus Lupin behind Lee doubled over clutching their sides, he had a sneaking suspision they were laughing at him.

"I'm pretty sure Rodent fits better though. After all, had you been a Rapier, then you're mind would have been sharper and you would have realized what George was doing!" Lee replied, glad to see that someone got the better of Fred in a prank.

"That's not true! George was holding the notes, I was caught unawares!" Fred tried to defend himself, sensing the truth in Lee's statement.

"Well, your fault or not, you're still a rabbit. So that makes you a Rodent." Lee decided, "Now come on, we've got news to report to the waiting wizarding world!"

"Alright, fine, and for the last time Lee, I'm Rapier!" Fred agreed, pouting like a 5 year old.

Lee disappeared behind the broadcasting equipment, trying to muffle his laughter. "Sure you are Fred, but you're really a blunt one." Lee muttered quietly still trying to stiffle his laughs. Fred was going to be Rodent, after all, how many wizards walked around with fluffy bunny ears sticking out of their heads? Hopefully this wouldn't give him away to any Death Eaters, although Lee figured it wouldn't. Standing up, Lee announced, "We're good to go, everyone ready? Royal, Romulus, and of course dashing River (that's me) aaand...Rodent!"

"What was that?!" Fred demanded.

"Nothing!" Lee replied a wicked grin of his own.

* * *

Somewhere in the distance, George was laughing.


End file.
